Chickenshit Sailor

What I wrote when I woke up from a dream on 4/11:

At mall with mom, she was talking about a new air conditioning unit for the house and then something Hillary/Bill related when I snapped at her to ‘stop talking’ whereupon I lost her and I started thinking about my ride home. I didn’t feel bad about it. Some other lady offered me a ride and I declined.  Then when I went to call and apologize, my dad picked up and 4 dogs ran out and I was yelling to get them back when something happened where almost everyone went blind with bloody eye sockets.  One dog ran back and was eating its own eyeball on a string calmly.  Apparently there was some new device that everyone wanted that made this happen.  I think of Japan, (the book Hiroshima).

Later I’m driving with 3 people, 2 friends from Colorado - Jen and Andy, the driver I don’t know, someone Arabic?  He’s texting and driving through a crosswalk, narrowly missing 2 (people) then crashes.  I’m perfectly fine, but my two friends flew and were implanted head-first and were completely rigid, Jen into a tree, and Andrew into a dartboard.  The driver I’m mad at for killing them, but he’s a got such a badly broken leg that I don’t chase him too far.  I call 911, but suddenly it’s like he crashed into a hospital, but nobody is really responding to the carnage.  Danielle calls and I try to get emotional, but my sobs sound ridiculous, so I stop and get up, but I start taking someone else’s bag by mistake and I apologize and he starts talking about not doing the regeneration therapy.  Then Rob shows up and he thinks the whole thing’s kind of funny for some reason and so does Amanda, so I get over it and try to take some pictures.

@0855 (8:55 a.m.)

Thermonuclear Holocaustic

Unable to eat shit fast enough, he pulled out all her entrails and kept feasting on her intestines, liver, and keys to her heart.  Tool and die?  I just want to get some sleep or unlock my mind so that I can wrap it around doing the little things that should be done and need doing, needn’t they?

Then on 4/24:

Haven’t been writing since dog Revelations, there has been more room for adventure and sleep. 4/18 found me flying to Mississippi, Gulfport (Biloxi), 0600 flight, after a 4/17 Ghost B.C. concert at Rapid’s Theatre in Niagara Falls.  I just made my flight with minutes to spare.  Spent the night of 4/18 in Nashville, TN, where we (dad and I) ate at the Stillery, then went out for beer and music at Tootsie’s where there were 3 stages and a packed house Monday. 4/20 and post have been kind of a blur,… went to Mutoid Man that night (Weds.) with Kris, Matt P., Jeff, then met up with Antonia, and after the show with her friend Alicia for blunt & joint & beer.  The haze…Thurzdaze…degeneration…Danielle!  So that’s the day we got coffee & beer, talked about (let’s face it) her-Story, where she’s going, what she’s doing, her relationships, her problems & solutions…(I’m being slightly sarcastic here…not all that one-sided).  Talked to Amanda & got my work for Friday…Friday I went to work with Chris (the Greek), Luke, and Sue, on Earth Day, her birthday. We put up and cut drywall (sheet-rock), ate Imperial pizza, and were impressed by the South Buffalo Princess, Queen of her kind, Amanda Mark E. Mark Randle O’Witzy, prince of scandals, schemes, and hullabulloos!  (See brouhahae)

@0353 (3:53 a.m.)

It seems that there’s so much evil in the world that there’s little left to have faith in. Without being skeptical, let me practice my aseptic technique and judge every source of contamination with a blind eye.  Mothers of cathair!  Noqueens, just queers, and righteous queers whom in their righteousness are…different.  Feats of Renaissance men seem insurmountable.  DaVinci’s lore!  Is there anything that man didn’t try? Not Kabbaalism?! Kabaaloom!  Possessing evil weaves, woven evils, not goods, discord amongst men.  The stuff of bloodletting, revenge, and every form of torment hangs from an evil tree, hanging from a noose of discord, hung like a horse of the apocalypse (defeated by the forces of EVIL! HA-HA).  All the vile dirt of dandies destined for a swimming hole, pool of lust and despair, drowned many a man off the coast of Costa Rica in the shit riptide. Pacific, Mariana, Hawaii; what the hell is wrong with me?  Skeptics everywhere agree with everything.  Found without fault by the scrutinizers? Jesus, judge not, and allow me to command forces outside the control of the masses, the common people, or the hoi polloi. Proletarian proselytizers?  Literally sylvan, energy amber, and scale unobtainable. More words count less. The Tao is deep within, the ching, let it out, change already! Like an irate motorist, mad about other motorist’s on i-technology; he waves his wings and catches flies like the missing link.  Like a lunatic late for work, hung over off the full moon, when a robot hung over the intersection of Delavan and Delaware changed from red to green mellow yellow crashed into t-bone traffic.  Ass of a tranny!  Class of a tyrant!  Past of a clown!

@0442 (4:42 a.m.)

Tao Forty-Six

When the Tao is present in the universe,
The horses haul manure.
When the Tao is absent from the universe,
War horses are bred outside the city.

There is no greater sin than desire,
No greater curse than discontent,
No greater misfortune than wanting something for oneself.
Therefore he who knows that enough is enough will always have enough.

0624 (6:24 a.m.) on 4/29/16.