CitySolve

I awoke at 730 with no alarm to drive to Rochester, NY from Buffalo to participate in CitySolve, an Amazing Race (CBS) style scavenger hunt.  It was a difficult crunch for me because the previous night, Friday, 6/21 I was out until about 300, from the Sportsman Tavern on Amherst St. to watch my buddies the FolkFaces play a few songs for a Steve Earle tribute.  I had skated over with my friend J (she biked) at 2330 and the FF’s went on about 0030. A group of musicians stayed afterward for an acoustic citsuoca (palindrome).  I had five Rolling Rock 12oz. cans before I left for the show, then one Labatt Blue bottle, and two Stella Artois pints at the bar.  I also smoked some American Spirit cigarettes that J was offering me, then a chillum of some kind herb with a kind gentleman on the upstairs outdoor patio there.  This hit me especially hard because I hadn’t smoked any smokable in over a month because I have been seeking employment and drug testing is common procedure for new hires in New York State.  I do enjoy a good smoke now and again, but not in any fiendish kind of way.  Anyway, I hitched a ride part of the way back with R, J’s boyfriend and then skated back to my place exhausted on 6/22…

                Dehydrated, I stopped at the Spot Coffee on Elmwood for one of my hangover cures, a coffee and a bran muffin. Taken on the road, I sleepily took to the thruway at 70mph and arrived an hour later at my destination at Corn Hill, Rochester.  There I met S, the coordinator. T+J arrived shortly after.  Part of CitySolve involved a costume contest that S was gunning to win, and we prepared to become the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles.  S was Donatello, T was Michelangelo, J was Leonardo, and I was Raphael.  The outfit involved green tights, brown underwear worn on the outside, a green athletic tee (painted yellow abs), and a shell made out of a large baking tray and green-painted paper mache.  We had strips of colored fabric that wrapped around elbows, knees, wrists, and the one with eyeholes for our face.  We had plastic mock weapons from Toys ‘R’ Us: a bo for Don, a nunchaku for Mic, a sword for Leo, and sais for Ralph.  The whole thing took about an hour to get into, but we looked good.  We called a taxi to take us to Murphy’s Law, a bar where the race started and finished, and our driver was the first to take a picture of us with his iPhone.

                When we arrived we made quite a scene, not that we had to do much acting, but heads were turning.  I knew I was in for a hell of a day when Don was getting aggravated that the bartender wasn’t serving drinks at 1100 and Leo was outside smoking a cigarette (a child’s cartoon hero, aging).  I only knew one other person there, a friend from elementary school with his wife, but the CitySolve event coordinator said that it was the largest turn-out he had ever seen.  It was a big crowd; it filled the parking lot out back and the sidewalk just outside the parking lot.  Once congregated, the costume contest took place.  People came up at random, stood on chairs, struck a pose, and the crowd voted based on applause.  My favorites were a couple girls who dressed up as minions from Despicable Me (they could even do the voices), and another group called Too Legit To Quit who wore gold ultra-baggy pants, black tank tops, gold chains, and a fake inflatable beach boom-box they danced to.  Our costumes were the best because we won the costume contest, we got the most applause (Don would later say that they were cheering for 5, nay, 10 minutes), and obtained a pair of JammyPacks for 2/4 of us (not I), in the snail mail.

                The race began and the first question was “What New York based team has gone the longest without winning a league championship?” Rangers, Knicks, Islanders, or Mets?  Each answer had a corresponding intersection of streets.  The correct answer would yield the packet we would need to perform our tasks to complete our quest, the wrong answer a dead end.  Unfortunately, no turtle knew the answer to the riddle; fortunately, we were able to just follow along with the crowd that was generally heading all in one direction.  Myself being the only runner in the group was somewhat frustrated because I find that I will actually get more tired walking than running long distances, and there was no way we would ever be able to win the overall event at a turtle’s pace. But we satisfied ourselves in our early victory, obtained our question packet, and meandered over to Hogan’s Hideaway to hash out the clues and have a much deserved first drink.  Don had a double vodka-soda, Mic had a vodka-soda, Leo had two double Jack and cokes, and I had one double vanilla rum-spiced rum and coke with a cherry and an order of fries.  So, Leo got drunk, I got soberer from the night before, and the Utahan bartender took our first pictures in front of a ‘Love Art’ painting hanging on the wall, thus satisfying a bonus requirement for the game.

                From there we found a golf-tee sculpture outside Parkleigh and took a picture in front of it.  Check that off the list.  We had to take a group-selfie because some black old bee waiting for the bus wouldn’t push our button.

                Walking north on Goodman now, a car pulls over and a very pretty black young bee gets out to take a picture with us.  She had just graduated from Wilson high school and was still wearing her mortarboard from the ceremony.  We crossed University and Leo decided to take a couple pictures at a construction site near the art gallery: one coming out of a port-o-potty, and one sitting in an unattended backhoe.  We then crossed to the other side of Goodman and into the Village Gate complex to find Village Idiots Improv.  There we had to do an improv-game where as a group we had to have a conversation using every letter of the alphabet consecutively.  It started out something like, “Allison is such a bee-sting,” to “Bitch better learn how to respect my authority,” to “Cunt needs to wash herself,” etc. pretty harsh and not always witty, we thus completed our activity, got another picture, and moved forward.

                Now was mostly walking: University Ave. to Towner’s bike shop to play a roll-a-tire game for a pic, back University to Chocolate & Vines for a pic, all the way down University to E. Main St. to the YMCA to play a memory game for a pic (Don couldn’t remember the suits of her two cards at this point), East Ave. Spot coffee to play flip-cup for a pic, across the Genesee River to Exchange to Nathaniel’s to throw darts for a pic (I got three bulls-eyes on my sixth try).  Many of the people driving in Rochester that day were honking, calling out ‘Hey!’ and Turtle catchphrases, and taking pictures and videos of us as we walked.  We stopped a number of times and posed for people along the way.

Since we were in the home-stretch and not really in race contention, we had a couple drinks. I had a gin and tonic and a shot of Patron Reposado with Don and Leo.  Don and I then went across the street and Don picked up a bottle of whipped-flavor vodka.  We were near Corn Hill so we went back to her place to have a couple whipped sodas.  We took a picture with Don’s dog Hollywood, and Don held Hollywood as if she were a football and struck a Heisman-trophy pose for a pic.  We filled up a water-bottle with more whipped soda and after a nice mover-lady took a pic of us in front of New Taj, we went back to Murphy’s Law to finish.

Here things get a little hazy.  I had a Guinness there, but the amount of vodka, and the fact that I had eaten very little all day were starting to hit me.  Don called a taxi and after we all clambered in and started driving she realized that she had left her bag, so we turned back to retrieve it.  I forgot the credit card holding my tab open until later.

So after a long day, we were finally able to change out of our sweaty costumes, we said our first goodbyes, and Mike and Leo left.  Don was planning on going Out, so she was changing clothes/putting on makeup.  I didn’t have anything nice to wear, so S (I’m going back to Don=S) rustled up one of her dad’s button-down mustard-yellow silky collared shirts.  I was sipping on another whipped soda, reading Brief Interviews with Hideous Men by David Foster Wallace. I got through the first three pages that constitute the first short story when I woke up to S calling my name from the top of the stairs. I had a puddle of drool forming on the open pages of the book on the table because I had fallen asleep with my head in my hands.  Granted, when I awoke I felt much better, but I definitely realized my need for something to eat and that my drinks weren’t adequately performing this caloric function.  I climbed the stairs in response to S’s calling and relate that need to her.  Her response was to pop open a black-painted prescription vial and hand me a broken, generic Adderall, and says “Here, take this, then you won’t need to eat.”  I recognized the orange 30mg tab, I had taken a few in the past, and it was broken four ways, so 30/4 = 7.5mg would make me feel alright for awhile, it wouldn’t kill me (right away), and it would curb my appetite.  The taste was vaguely reminiscent of orange-creamsicle.  I thought that it must have been designed that way on purpose to market to child-geniuses, thumb-suckers.  At this point I started to balance myself out with a couple magic mushrooms too, I suppose there could be a number of reasons for or against this decision, but whatever the case, I found it to be pleasingly acceptable, for I began to feel energized, aware, and not hungry.

We took a cab back to Gibbs/Main where the main action of Rochester’s Jazz Fest was occurring.  There was one large tent across from the Eastman Theatre I would find myself in later (The Unity Health Systems Big Tent (UHSBT)).  There was a larger two-story tent at the end of Gibbs St. blocking the street off for walkers and we walked this way passed the tent and through by the row of food vendors (I wasn’t even thinking about food at this point).  At this point I realized that I didn’t have my credit card and I forgot what happened to it, so S called T and she remembered where it was and reminded us that it was back at Murphy’s Law, so we trotted ESE down East to get it.  We had another drink there (I had another Guinness) and closed the tab.

We wandered back and I found myself on a street that was behind the UHSBT.  We were near a club with a line out the back twenty deep (Abilene), and the rear of the UHSB tent lent VIP access.  S was making some calls, looking for her friend H who had a couple extra club-passes for the two of us.  We met them around the corner at Salvation Army parking lot.  We met with H, her boyfriend SL, and her mom AM, H&SL smoking a bowl of some kind.  I made water behind a dumpster (the first since I woke up in the morning, sweating all day) and we took our club-passes and went inside the UHSBT where the Shuffle Demons were playing.  We moseyed along the right wall of the interior of the tent, passed the bar, and settled to some area close to the stage where there was some space and danced.  Because there were chairs, despite the fact that the band was the Shuffle Demons and it was really good dance music, the grand majority of people in the tent were seated, looking up at the stage as though appreciating an opera, not what it was.  That was fine though, I had my dancing druthers and even a piece of cheesecake on a stick.

                The five of us wafted like the breeze out after the show was over, sat for a second to collect ourselves completely then sauntered back down Gibbs to rejoin the crowd on East.  We went one block to Chestnut St.  There was one of the free outdoor stages set up pumping good music all around, and we fluttered like moths to some bright lights at Xerox tent where they were testing some 360 degree experimental photographic technology on enthusiastic participants.  We danced while waiting in line.  Some lady standing behind us complained about S’s skanky skirt, but she was skankin’ it easy and paid no mind.  I wasn’t really into the whole picture-taking tent scene, I was there for the music, but like I said, I was having fun, and dancing over the whole lot with AM.

                H, SL, and AM parted ways with S and me.  I parted ways with S after walking a ways down East with her because she was planning on staying out all night clubbing (and not eating), and I had my mind on getting back to Buffalo so I could get a good night’s rest, relax Sunday, and go to my job interview Monday fresh.  Thus I walked the final mile back to my car and successfully drove back.  R, S’s brother called me when I was on Buffalo Rd. getting gas and tea, he wished I had stayed with her to take care of her, but he knows how she is and that she always survives.  I munched on a few mushrooms when I got tired on the thruway, just enough to keep me stimulated, washed down with Arizona green tea with honey.  Dangerous, perhaps, but I was determined.  I was determined to get a Lloyd’s burrito from the taco truck that was waiting for me near the house when I got back.  It weighed a pound and tasted like heaven.  I died happy and it was only midnight.

                While this sort of action would be considered enough for most people, it was hardly for me.  Though still quite hungry in the morning, I waited until my home crew gathered together for Mythos brunch.  J,C,M,A, and I settled in for an a.m. Bellini followed by breakfast. I had an Italian sausage omelette with homefries and rye toast, yum!  Back to the house, slathered on SPF15, packed, and then J,C,A,D,L went in two cars after B showed up to go to Woodlawn beach on lake Erie.  Now the last time I was at Woodlawn had been a couple summers before and I remember having fun, but generally being unimpressed by the Butt-Stop sand and lack of activity.  This time however, the sand was cleaner and they had installed a beach-side bar that was pumping good old-school hip-hop, hopping with bikinied booties.  So I slept, I played three games of volleyball (won one out of three), had two Tecates, threw a Frisbee around, slept again, swam, and left.  One thing that struck me there was the array of wind turbines spinning about a half mile down the beach, the clear sky, the active people, a few boats (one with a pirate flag), and even the seagulls floating between the water, the beach, the people, the windmills, and the sky filled the scene with activity.  B drove A and I back through South Buffalo, looking for food though most restaurants were closed because it was Sunday.  We eventually hit Allentown and walked a few blocks east to Don Tequila’s for a pitcher of Dos Equis and dinner.  I had another superb burrito.

                Monday I woke up late, went for a 3.5 mile run, got dressed in a suit and went for a job interview at TestAmerica Inc., an environmental chemistry lab in Amherst.  I had an enjoyable interview then went home.  J was there and he promptly asked if I had any plans for the evening and if I wouldn’t like to go see Wynton Marsalis at Artpark?  Heck yes, J had free tickets because C was sick and C’s parents weren’t going.  We all had a few beers and then M,A,J, and I drove to Lewiston for some hep jazz!  I noticed it was predominately an elder crowd, but today I didn’t mind sitting.  We all got a 16oz. Molson and then took our seats in row B, only five rows away from the stage!  Being able to see the faces of the musicians playing up close definitely added to the enjoyment because they all seemed pretty laid back and enjoying the scene just as much if not more than we.  There were a couple numbers by Miles Davis, one by Cab Calloway, one by Dizzy Gillespie, others, and then a few numbers written by the band members, my favorite called BaBa Black Sheep, my friend’s favorite being a Spanish sounding number written by the bassist.  I got a 16oz Mike’s Harder Lemonade for the second set, (diabetes in a can), though honestly, I felt that the experience was un-enhance-able, I was so uplifted by the music where we sat in the cut that I grooved.