St. P's Snakes to the Sea ~

Distracting volumes, masses, and crowds
slap hands; asses in the seats, out of the seats,
and into the TV acronym. Hypochondria
for paranoia, not a treatment, but a cause.
Heart of darkness, in the shadow of
ignorance, all is forgotten. A dreamless
sleepers’ soundboard, snoring sound
clips of rippling rivers.
Seeming to know it all, confident critics
iterate commentary news, currently
ironic.

Street legal tanks &
a consumer flamethrower
Indica Kate 2

Setting drunk precedents, sales, dammit
Living a lie
Living a life
What you tell people
When you want to feel good
And you don’t want them to judge
Harshly what is not of cruel intent
Because it requires a certain level
Of understanding to attain reason
To be able to judge wisely
Without acting foolishly
Because we know
We’ve known all along
We all have

It just seemed like it kept you happy
To keep us in the dark
Getting to understand the darkness
In the light of obfuscation
There are times in this life
We are willing to hate
Because we hate what you do.
You’re killing yourself for causes
Which to you yourself are unknown
Things of life and death have been
Debated for years, save Jesus.

I need to open my mind to the possibility
of more work, not just philosophy
Because it may provide wisdom,
But work provides understanding.

Understanding of why people do
what they love to do, just for the
Sake of doing it, the love drug,
Or the money drug. There is
Trouble in between, like crossing
a river on a ferry like Siddhartha.
Philosophy again, I know, I guess
It pays (perhaps, eventually)
to be well, to be well read, and if lucky,
To be read well.

So many artists just want to be
Mysterious, and be recognized for their
Mysterious nature and their mysterious
works of art, that eventually must be
explained to the puny minds they pander.
I always thought that the labor of love, the
real struggle to get that feeling of
success and completion, and not just
that, but that oneness with the world that
artistry allows, but many bankers doing
cocaine can feel that way artificially,
Though they do pay dearly with their
mental and overall health that they are
happily insured for.

The calculation for rate of completion
begins with starting endpoints.
The projects being what they are, a work
in progress where structural integrity can be
figured into the equation. Every one of
us feels the weight of being. That weight
can be put in the hands of more capable
carpenters who understand material
terminology more handily that I? What’s
what made out of? A squeaky wheel gets
the grease! Titanium, rubber, and fat for
Shawty! Air pressure in kilopascals weighs
down on me as a column from on high.
Air density = mass of air / volume of air.

Courtney and Val’s overhead slides, Mylar
grow-room lining. Over the shoulder
Jamie, wraparound green chair.
Children of artists, if they do well
may become more practical. Fundraiser
party theme: Peepshow, where orgiastic ritual &
Sex, as a metaphor, sells.

Tech, no logic, ideas
quickly becoming obsolete. Am I overly
concerned with my usefulness?
If I were working my old
9 to 5 I wouldn’t be here. These
Completely new experiences are
something I crave, knowledge
despite it coming with adulthood. I’m still
sophomoric to many. I’m young, not
part of their scene, we only know one
another by sight, perhaps cursorily by
name. Getting to know all the names in
all the right order is the first step towards
recognition, but drug addiction, data
plans, and consumer textiles create an atmosphere
hostile to the queendom;
Front cunt punt.

Putin comes to America to pirate
Jurassic Park, inspired by clone
technology, for an actual park in Russia.
T-Rexes in St. Petersburg!

How long until chicken Alzheimer’s? One
foot coxcomb… a dandy amputee.
Chicken shiv, really a cleaver, for the sin of
heathen cowardice resulting in death by sloth.

Fasting for power, ascetic meditation, yet
anxiety under boxed arches…will
you let me know if I get sat? Egg on a
burger! The phone rings. I’ve had two
pieces of beef jerky to eat all day and it’s
almost 3.  I did this last week for a deja vieux.
More fish Friday fasting. Is this a gut revival?
Revivalist enterprises face value head on while
paying for the social licentiousness of the city.

Electric election 2020? (Fully automated polling places).

“Beachcombing is an activity that consists of an individual “combing” (or searching) the beach and the intertidal zone, looking for things of value, interest or utility. Coined by Herman Melville in Omoo in 1847.” -Wikipedia

One step ahead of the law… gg all in
one step ahead of the laws of attraction?

She thinks that somebody has to work for
her or should have to work for her, but
she’s the one who’s most hungry for
attention.
The vicarious struggle is fake.

…Keepin’ it complicated…

Televised tazer death of coked out black
man making motel noises, our banker feels no
pity: much of the mental disturbances
were self-inflicted; the rationale.
Capitalist pig! I think the fat cops are to
blame. Someone teach them how to
restrain a perpetrator physically, and
teach them also self-restraint, (what
should be a high virtue on the force).

Fear…loathing…oh lord…

Beer, fireball shots, cotton candy martini,
multiple on one man’s account, Jordan
boxers, backwards hat with pins,
swagger, two cute women, dark bearded
friend in Bills hoody, the intelligent one
who believes that intelligence deserves
attention. An end in itself? A
clearinghouse, I’m out!

Buffalo Bills sweatsuit tripping up steps

with his juicy couture in tow.
Dark side of the Dead.
Moment of clarity, section of Bacchus?
The diversified look of the developed brain?

Plander to the applaudience!

Lianne La Havas

Side Pony

(Unstoppable Mistakes)

You Can’t Win

Eddy Grant

The Manchurian Candidate

Hebetude – n. The state of being dull or lethargic

Melisma – the singing of a single syllable of text while moving between several different notes in succession.

John Climacus

Neume – notes of Gregorian chant sung on a single syllable

Porrectus – a neume used in Gregorian chant, formed of three notes, high, low, high

            Torculus – low, high, low

Salicus – three notes going upward

Etc.

Telluric – relating to the earth, esp . related to the natural electric current near the earth’s surface.

Catafalque – a decorated wooden framework supporting the coffin.

Erudite Criticism of Erudition, Statistics; and Tangents.

Nothing is more significant of the present condition of systematics than the introduction of the hypotheses of ‘elementary disorder’ for the purpose of smoothing-out the contradiction between intellectual postulate and actual experience. The ‘smallest particles’ of a body (an image, no more) throughout perform reversible processes, but in actual things the smallest particles are in disorder and mutually interfere; and so the irreversible process that alone is experienced by the observer is linked with increase of entropy by taking the mean probabilities of occurrences.  And thus theory becomes a chapter of the Calculus of Probabilities, and in lieu of exact we have statistical methods.

                Evidently, the significance of this has passed unnoticed. Statistics being, like chronology, to the domain of the organic, to fluctuating Life, to Destiny and Incident and not to the world of laws and timeless causality. As everyone knows, statistics serve above all to characterize political and economic, that is, historical, developments. In the ‘classical’ mechanics of Galileo and Newton there would have been no room for them. And if, now, suddenly the contents of that field are supposed to be understood and understandable only statistically and under the aspect of Probability – instead of under that of the a priori exactitude which the Baroque thinkers unanimously demand – what does it mean? It means that the object of understanding is ourselves.  …the resort to statistics shows that the force that the tradition regulated and made effective is exhausted.

Spengler, O. The Decline of the West. Pgs 421-2

Direction, fixing, ordering, defining by cause and effect, are things one can do if one likes. These things are work, but the other, (history), is creation. Form and law, portrayal and comprehension, symbol and formula, have different organs, and their opposition is that in which life stands to death, production to destruction. Reason, system and comprehension kill as they ‘cognize.’ That which is cognized becomes a rigid object, capable of measurement and subdivision. Intuitive vision, on the other hand, vivifies and incorporates the details in a living inwardly-felt unity.

P102

But for an animal, not truths, but only facts exist. Here is the difference between practical and theoretical understanding. Facts and truths differ as time and space, destiny and causality. A fact addresses itself to the whole waking-consciousness which imagines it can detach itself from being. Actual life, history, knows only facts; life experience and knowledge of men deal only in facts. The active man who does and wills and fights, daily measuring himself against the power of facts, looks down upon mere truths as unimportant. The real statesman knows only political facts, not political truths. Pilate’s famous question is that of every man of fact.

[“What is truth?” John 18:38]

                It is one of the greatest achievements of Nietzsche that he confronted science with the problem of the value of truth and knowledge – cheap and even blasphemous though this seems to the born thinker and savant, who regards his whole raison d’etre as impugned by it.  Descartes meant to doubt everything, but certainly not the value of his doubting.

                It is one thing, however to pose problems and quite another to believe in solutions of them. The plant lives and knows not that it lives. The animal lives and knows that it lives. Man is astounded by his life and ask questions about it. But even man cannot give an answer to his own questions, he can only believe in the correctness of his answer, and in that respect there is no difference between Aristotle and the meanest savage.

Book II p 12

                It is the extinction of living inner religiousness, which gradually tells upon even the most insignificant element in man’s being, that becomes phenomenal in the historical world-picture at the turn from Culture to Civilization.

P 185

For deep down beneath it all is the gloomy feeling, not to be repressed, that all this hectic zeal is the despairing self-deception of a soul that may not and cannot rest.

P 187

This is the tragic situation – the inversion of the Hamlet motive – and a thread of it runs through the entire fabric of Socialism, political, economic and ethical, which forces itself to ignore the annihilating seriousness of its own final implications, so as to keep alive the illusion of the historical necessity for its own existence… The specific tendency of all Western mechanics is towards an intellectual conquest of measurement, and it is therefore obliged to look for the essence of the phenomenon in a system of constant elements that are susceptible of full and inclusive appreciation by measurement, of which Hemholtz distinguishes motion (using the word in its everyday sense) as the most important.

P 188

                Modern physics, as a science, is an immense system of indications in the form of names and numbers whereby we are enabled to work with Nature as with a machine.

                Faith and ‘Knowledge’ are only two species of inner certitude, but of the two faith is the older and it dominates all the conditions of knowing, be they never so exact. And thus it is the theories and not pure numbers that are the support of all natural science.

                Mere industrious measuring for measuring’s sake is not and never has been more than a delight for little minds. Every savant’s experiment, be it what it may, is at the same time an instance of the kind of symbolism that rules the savant’s ideation.

                Every critical science, like every myth and every religious belief, rests upon an inner certitude. Various as the creations of the certitude may be, both in structure and in repute, they are not different in basic principle. Any reproach, therefore, levelled by Natural science at Religion is a boomerang. We are presumptuous and no less in supposing that we can ever set up ‘the Truth’ in the place of ‘anthropomorphic’ conceptions, for no other conceptions but these exist at all. Every idea that is possible at all is a mirror of the being of its author. The statement that ‘man created God in his own image,’ valid for every historical religion, is not less valid for every physical theory, however firm its reputed basis of fact.

P 190

How come the quantum? A superposition of a steady-state and a Big Bang, two concurrent realities, the neutral (quantum) thing-in-itself that is mathematics, and the physical (physics) reality of a thing that everyone agrees exists at the same instant, aha! All things in God’s reflection, light in a hall of mirrors playing peek-a-boo through a space-turbine that individuates starterstone.  A crying youth, numb to the cold, serpentine creator that made you eat to survive in superposition to your own hungrier self, left standing outside [Sameside Street], unfelt by unfeeling Poverty’s cruel hand come in the name of Chastity to admonish. A consciousness that spans millennia needeth only peep to set a local system spinning viceward, outracing even light-packets from the golden globule nearest.  The mighty mechanism emitter sends forth a complimentary paradigm dimer of split concurrence.  Who betokens betise?  The lingering bass-base notes uplift my spirits as my spirits are uplifted (a sine of anise liquor sans ice).

“Your Pimm’s cup sir.”

“Doesn’t it come in silver chalice?”

“That would be a pimp cup sir.”

From “Archer”. “The Man from Jupiter”

Light on a wire at constant ‘v’ for velocity, hypotenuses, a third-dimension out of sync with the fourth.  Going forth, however, one proceeds to believe at the outset some point bar-deterministic sarcasm for light-packets that are used to express a theoretically unforeseeable source of all points that are also in their theoretical vastness also ineffable once stated, even in a negative sense, accustomed to normalize peaks and variables to ‘best-fit’ time-tailor a point of exclusive heuristics to a perfectly perfected fine-tuned stopwatch that errs so often to the femtosecond it’s practically always wrong in exceedingly small increments to the ineffable point I shall say to exist at a point thereof.  It’s merely stated potential.

Captain Discrete relies on his own native tongue to count from one to the number after nine to ten in a universal language that is easier to translate via depiction than clairvoyance with a high-degree of certainty that enables me to be validated by myself or someone like me, who is similar to me in my mode of profession or choice of dress.  Statics fit the obvious and conform to pattern more regularly, all else is invalidated infiltrate.  A narcissistic constant, like a genus of flower, I am distracted eternally by the sound of my own voice listening to its own thoughts, into existence with beautiful blood, sweat, and typewriter ink as if I were something special, which I’m not, I’m exactly like all the others, convince yourself of that fact, truth’s alternative prima facie. 

The Kampyle of Eudoxus wavefunction
The Folium of Descartes wavefunction
The Ampersand Aquartic wavefunction
The Cochleoid Transcendental wavefunction

Where are these going?  How far?

4 o’clock skunk, 4 o’clock rabbit:
Why these two particular species arrived
within this area of locality
at this point of periodicity
probability only knows.
My pin-hole camera eyes adjust aperture,
poke settings for this time of night
during this ungodly hour awake.
I’m afraid to ask Nature why, lately
she has only output radial gibberish
that’s timely to comprehend, about
ellipsoidal circumferences and
a pair of animalcules sliding on
a pair of 2D boxes (properly planes)
blocked off by a thing in the third
dimension that the skunk in particular
is unable to pass without tunneling.
When observing the duality of nature,
is it wise to judge the dumb machine?
Can it really tell me anything that
I don’t already know intuitively?
That’s what we’re here to find out:
how to test our crickets of intuition.
So, while the rabbit remains without momentum
within the 2D system made of up 3D walls
(save its wiggling nose and whiskers)
the skunk tries to enter through what could
be a slit between two properties
before deciding on the path of least resistance,
ambling through the driveway gollop chamber
that hereby measures striped animalcules
going the ethereal distances that divide
black from white in an orange, electrified haze.

Is Neurosis Increasingly Cis?

I’m getting tired of trying to be the best because I’m getting out of control and I’m not improving.  There’s a solution to this; alcohol.  But what if that substance works on my nerves negatively?  Isn’t that the point?  The electronegative characteristics of neural networks aren’t necessarily bad or evil, but negativity has a tendency to be misconstrued in a negative light; inverse.  Introverted when I’m thinking, extroverted when I’m writing because my words speak volumes; manifest.  I need to remember that sex manifests violent behavior; peace.

                I can’t keep writing like this, sourcing my own subject, studying myself, constipated. Not really, I eat beets so it just looks bloody.  Maraca Katydid is one hand lounging, attention spanning certain whole minutes while the repetitive cycling of wash-boarding paint trays as a percussion instrument, with an ear on preservation over progression in music.  I can see the benefit of both.  Some people hold on too long and some people speed recklessly. Some people hold on to memories, objects, and relationships.  These three are distinct yet interrelated.  Some people deconstruct, reconstruct, and have something to prove.  These characteristics are all interrelated yet distinct.  Now I’m trying to do some weird variable math equation that is too mind-boggling for a pithy solution.  It is good also to drink in moderation.

                Marijuana is an apt substitute.   Modulating transmission of catecholamines across the neural synapse, as I understand the effects, it insulates myelin and controls the flow of dopamine, epinephrine, and norepinephrine past dendrites.  My high substitute teacher visited an apartment with me to teach me a lesson in controversial conspiracy theories.  Many people refuse to relive past stress and tragedy; fear of Posttraumatic Stress Entropy.  Call it what it really is!  It is important to use the right words at the right time so as not to convey a lie, thus making the human race a bigger buried laughingstock than the dinosaurs, Satan’s implants.  Stone rosettes!  Get high and listen to Ghost: Fuck yourself and go to hell.  Insults care of Uncle Joey, you’re welcome.

                Remind me to catch a breath! Anybody could play songs, but not every person who plays songs learns music anymore.  Acapella guerillas are the most mobile musicians, trebling in the trees.  ‘Emptyemptyempty,’ they reverberate more like background brainsounds amplified than a sampled breath.  Annunciate emptily.  Chant the Gregorian code that will bring "Evil Dead" to Netflix® in all its cult-classic gory-glory!  GloryGloryGlory hallelujah acid rain be!  Would Hill Dog take her pent up aggression towards Bill out on the rest of the world as president?  What a revelation!  “See what you made me do?!” she would shout at him from her ordered daisy chain of fuel planes aboard Air Force One as the world evaporates below into the first world radioactive stone age as she never forgets.

                I am where I put myself, in a Buffalo apartment with viz. intimidating rent.  How extroverted is a person supposed to be before anyone else in the house is awake?  Why be flashy when the world is blind (to my superiority/inferiority)?  I take both yin and yang in large doses.  Is the erotic truth is stranger than the erotic fiction?  Can you see Story of the Eye, Elizabeth?  Who would masturbate to such a thing?  Situated on the same floor of two hotels across the street from each other, a Boston bean-flicker eyes a baby-faced exhibitionist practicing his rites alone.  Being a lady of the night, mid-afternoon, she had time to kill.  “What the hell?” She thought, “worst/best case he sees me, joins me, we get off together, and he gives me his money!”  What the hell am I going on about?  I forget that I’m insecure about my feelings, let alone my fantasies!  Who has time to daydream about chance connections when you’re a violent, introverted pervert with a propensity for clergymen?  Damned if I know! No, no, literally, I’m probably going to Hell if I ever meet this … oh shit, right, Dave.  Fuck, the war, and the children: Vietnam, molestation, and rape.  How could I forgive or forget?  Because to err is human; to forgive (pederasts), divine.  Who wouldn’t blame PSE, Jesus?  Cast of academy acclaimed movie of the year Spotlight?

                What is self-consciousness? Am I not a machine? Why do I have feelings? Why are little things confusing, (like changing a lock for the first time)?  Lack of intuition?  Lack of know-how? Ashy elbows (no grease)?  Whatever exact measure Persistence fails to solve when interpreting dreams is resolved by the narrowest capillaries supplying all the vital organs with humor.  If I could only make sense (why feel?) then maybe my life would be provided a meaning by a higher power writing a dimensionally superior storybook and by the sentient life in a higher dimension making sense of us and our many selves like a phase study of our time from the outside or underground by some alia life.  Perhaps to alia we are better than we perceive ourselves inside out. As a US citizen, denizen of Buffalo - an All America city (times two), how much do outside forces control our day?  Consider yourself blessed. Amen American men, women, and all undifferentiated, neutral, and undecided persons of all colors, creeds, and nationalities!

When a drunk creep walks into a bar...

It’s late…well…that’s relative, it’s about 8:30 on a Monday, at a local beer dispensary, and some people are acting like it’s late. The owner of a local hydroponic store is on a minor rampage.  He’s just come from dinner with his wife, she’s gone home (to go to bed for work in the morning), but he’s staying to hang out with his dog El.  He’s drunk, has produced the largest herb grinder I’ve seen and is pushing it for free to any takers…I smoked a part of a jay with J and Bop about 15 minutes before this recording.  My friend Fan is in charge…well…that’s relative, he’s high, drunk, and tripping too, another day’s work?  It’s a super liberal atmosphere and the job has very little responsibility, so naturally the people therein descend into a state of semi-lawlessness.  Everything’s fine until this rampaging man of Ur, ruler of Puppy-Monkey-Babylon goes a little too far off the commercial deep-end.  Three people, San Se, RRB, and Speechless Santa had just left, (so it’s easier to catch the recording at this point).  5 remain, Ur, J, Bop, Fan, and me. And 2 dogs, Ur’s El, and Fan’s L.  Let’s see how this goes!

                Half hour until close,

Ur: This is random, I was in the bar next door and I brought my dog in.

The dog (El) is literally on the bar at this point.

Ur: You want some herb?

San Se is just out the door.

Ur: You gonna finish puffin’?

Fan: Those couple beers just went on tonight? (Aside with Bop, finishing register till.)

Ur: (To the dogs) Play with you friend, play with your friend, go play with your friend. What’s her name?

Fan: Lucille

Ur: El, you go play with fuckin’ BB King’s guitar alright?

Fan: Okay so why is this shorter? (to Bop) But it’s the same, it’s the same total, right?  (Yeah Yeah Yeah)

Ur’s looking for a lighter.

Me: I smoked, I think it was RRB’s lighter, did you give it back to RRB? (Yeah)

Ur: (Knocking weed onto bar where dog has been) You guys got anything? Got any matches? Here you guys want this? Wanna puff somethin’?

Bop: Yeah, *titter* right? *titter* (kind of how she laughs, distinct)

Ur:  I like it!  You’re like – imitates Bop’s laughter – what the fuck is that? Some tropical bird? It’s amazing! HEHEHEHE. You’re my new favorite fuckin’ person in the world.

Dog barks

Ur: Hey! WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU BARKING AT? Who was it? Was it her or him? (of the dogs) Hey! You little fuckin’ –what are those things called?-  put that fuckin’ paw down, I don’t like that gesture. Yeah, there we go, how do we like that? Right bitch? You fuckin’ hyena.

Poor L…

Ur: Help me out, I’m fucked up. (Trying to get Bop to roll a joint from the weed on the bar) Take that, roll yourself a joint. Take it all, I don’t give a fuck.

Change drops

Ur: Throw some change at my dick though bro.

Me: Plinko!

Ur: Here, you want something? (Still pushing) You sound like a fuckin’ bird of paradise… Is this you man? (about me and Bop)

Me: Oh yeah. We’ve known each other for a while now (lying, known one hour). No, birds of paradise, they’re beautiful, you’ve ever seen the…

Ur: They just dance, like – stomps feet – sounds like something weird like…

Me: That’s a pretty good dance! That’s a good imitation!

Ur: I think you should put some more fuckin’ weed in there though, you’re rolling like shit.

Bop keeps laughing nervously

Ur: Dude, this girl’s fuckin’ awesome, I just wanna hang out with her in like a fuckin’ hotel, hot tub, have a bunch of people over, fuck with some ketamine…Yes! Why don’t we all go out and puff this fuckin’ herb yo?

J: We were doing that, but nobody came out so…

Ur: Alright, I’ll puff the shit outta that herb. It tastes so good.

J: See if we can find fire…

Ur: Why you can’t find fire? Wait-wait-wait yo, whoa, I’ll make it happen! We have A/C voltage, I will get fire. What’s this right here? Whose is this? (searching, talking out loud to himself) Bar and store must have matches…

Door alarm speaks the words ‘front door’

Ur: (imitating) ‘Front door.’  El, come here.

Me: Doesn’t this place have cameras?

Fan: Not at all.

L Barks

Fan: Lucy!

Ur: Hey! What the fuck are you doing? You little, short, fucking inbred, little, short, inbred weirdo.  What are you barking at? WHAT? ‘Front door.’ Dude, what are you like fuckin’ six foot four?

Me: 6’6”

Ur: Woo!  You’re one of the worst fuckin’ white basketball players that’s ever existed.

Me: Yeah, I got cut from my team in high school…I played volleyball and tennis…

Ur: (to Bop) That is the skinniest, shittiest, fuckin’ joint I’ve ever seen in the world.  Let me help you out.  Come out and smoke this fuckin’ weed we’re about to smoke, dog.  (in a whiny voice) I can’t even handle this fuckin’ poison this evil bitch is about to give to me HEHEHEHE (mocking) ‘fuck you evil bitch!’ HEHEHE

Me: Yeah, there are a lot of funny laughs…

Ur: No, I mean, I love her, secretly, it can’t be public.

Me: I mean, I love her

Ur: It’s your old lady right?

Me: I definitely overtly love Bop.

Ur: Yeah, you should overtly love this dude.

Me: Wait, who, J?!

Ur: I will pump the shit out of his ass in basketball, and I suck at basketball.  El!  Stop fucking with that other dog! Look at you…doesn’t mean you’re coordinated, just means you can touch it…I can fuck a pussy too…take a bitch down, they’ll be like, ‘newp-newp’

Me: Well, that’s what you’re supposed to do when a bear attacks you.

Ur: What, pretend you’re dead?  You sound like a fuckin’ bird though HEHEHEHE

Me: Should be a compliment, right?

Ur: It is a compliment. I don’t mean to be a dick.  I don’t mean to be a fuckin’ asshole.  Listen I don’t mean to …this fucking fairy tale Hehehe… (bark) Hey!

J: (aside) Yep yep there it is, yes, Yes, there it is, the total in the parenthesis (checking receipt for Fan) can’t figure out…

Ur: You’re probably, you’re whole life is roughly fucked up from the both of you fuck this, I think you fuckers fuck this when you fuck her in the butt…did I say that out loud?

Bop starts crying.

J: You shouldn’t say that.

Ur: What? Fuck her in the butt?

Bop: That was just…

Ur starts trying to backtrack on this conversation…the conversation just got really dark.

Me: I said never again, you know, it happened to me once and I was like, ‘no more! No more!’ (trying to keep it light, nobody’s listening) exactly! (Speaking to my future self from the past)

Ur: I’m sorry I didn’t mean to be a dick!

Bop: No! It’s not okay.

J: Yeah it was inappropriate.

Bop: Yeah

Ur: I’m sorry.

Bop: That’s horrible!

Ur: I didn’t mean it like that.

Me: I know it’s just my first time meeting you, I don’t really know you from before this…

Ur: I didn’t, whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa I’m sorry, it was completely, a joke…

Bop: (offensive) towards women

Ur: It was, wow, I’m sorry.

Bop: No, you saw that

J: It was inappropriate

Bop: It was super inappropriate

Ur: I’m sorry, it was meant to be a joke and

Bop: It wasn’t, no, it was chauvinistic towards women, blatantly, blatantly

J: It was a blatant attack

Me: I feel like you think you know us really well and we just met you and like, you know, so

Ur: I’m like, I’m leaving, sorry

Bop: Terrible, terrible. It was a derogatory comment towards women.

Ur: What was the comment?

J: It was about anal sex

Bop: Yeah horrible, horrible

Ur: Alright I’m sorry, it was a reference to something that already existed, my bad

Me: It’s fine, it was taken the wrong way

J: It was taken in a way, in a context, that was directed toward her

Ur: It was definitely not, I’m sorry… you can have this (about the weed still on the bar)

Fan: I don’t need that shit…don’t step on the fucking record either (Dead record on the floor)

‘Front Door’ machine-lady says as Ur leaves, humiliated, with his El between his legs.

Fan: Shit…

Bop: He was being so creepy, like all night, and when he said that…

Fan: I personally didn’t like the way he was talking to my dog.

Me: He’s just out of control, he’s out of control.

Bop: Out of control, his wife didn’t like him either!

Fan: What’d he say? What’d he say? (He was in the back when the conversation turned)

Me: Really off-putting

Bop: He made like rapist comments towards me

Me: Yeah, he was getting way out of control…I think he realized he was getting that way when you started crying, and then he’s like, ‘oh shit, I definitely crossed a line’

Bop: He made a rapist and violent comment towards me

Me: He was talking to Lucy that way and he thought he was being funny, but nobody was laughing, and that was the thing about it, I mean, I was kind of laughing at how dumb he was being, but I didn’t think that he was like (going to get rape-y)

Bop: He was creepy

Fan: He thought he was the coolest motherfucker because he had some good pot or whatever he was fuckin’ doing, but fuck him.

Bop: He was getting more and more creepy…

J: It was not right.

Fan: No one needs that shit.

J: It was in a joking sense, but completely, it came out and it was just like we were right there and it was not appropriate

Me: He was out of control, he didn’t even realize what he was doing, he was saying shit out loud that he didn’t mean to say…but he just fucking comes into this establishment and opens up a giant fucking tin of pot and ‘look at all this pot’ like he’s trying to give it away, ‘take this, take this,’ you know, if somebody else walks into this store and you’ve got this fucking laid out here, it just looks really bad, it is not good for the business itself.

Fan: At all!  There’s pot still on here, I wasn’t even out here, for I don’t know, a minute…I didn’t like that guy from the second he walked into the room…ready to close here?

Yeah.