Transcript from 5 a.m. on a Sunday
morning, Buffalo, F&M back from the bar, in the living room, TV on,
recollecting recent transpirations:
M: We got all the girl’s numbers, now we’ve gotta follow up
tomorrow, we’ve got shit going on tomorrow.
On the television: Viewer discretion is advised…
F: The one kissin’ the girl, she was fuckin’ rapin’ me dude
at Hot Mama’s? Tongue down my throat, like I’m like lookin’ at M like whoa,
okay, help me!
M: Yeah oh I was just trying to block the view. I was like,
wait, I was kinda like getting the sense that he’s gettin’…he’s gettin’ raped
by this woman!
F: I made it known that I was high and I was uncomfortable
kissin’ this girl.
M: I couldn’t think of anything to say because I didn’t want
to be the guy that cock-blocks the girl!
F: She’s cute, you know what I’m sayin’? But the way she was
like…I don’t know, like…hard-core making out in a bar, you know what I’m
sayin’?
M: He hasn’t been to the Pink really at all.
D: The Pink’s a little bit darker in there too, so, a little
more discretion, but…
M: Like at the Pink some girl just whips out her titty and
puts it in my hand like, ‘here’s a titty.’
D: Who, the tranny?
M: No! The girl who
was tryin’ to be my girlfriend at Nietzsches!
F: Oh! M did have a tranny though lookin’ at him! The black
one!
M: We were at DBGB’s and I’m smilin’ I look over and I’m still
smiling, look her in the eyes and
I’m like ‘No!’
F: We’re at DBGB’s at the end of the night and you know we
grabbed one more beer or whatever so me and L, we look over and there’s this black nigga, you know what to do,
starin’ at M hard as hell. I look at M & I started laughin’, he’s got this
sad look on his face! Like, ‘I know, I know, this dude keeps looking at me.’ Yo! M
was gettin’ his freak on today though I gotta give him that.
D: Just dancin’?
F: Yeah, surprisingly DBGB’s was awesome. We got there at like 2, while over here we’re
at Hot Mama’s since like 7 and I’m like dude I’m trying to dance or something.
M: Yeah we were sitting around drinking a lot and nothing
was going on…
F: DBGB’s was poppin’ (with) 90’s hip-hop, Poison…
M: L brought her friends E and ED out of the blue.
F: So L brings these two friends, he (M) goes for the old, ugly one; like that blonde one is throwin’ looks at you left and right, like, and then
I had like 3 girls that I was messin’ with, like I told them, ‘yo your sister’s
got like a fucking hex on me, you know what I mean? When your sister’s around I
feel like I have to respect her when
I’m like with her, you know what I mean? We had fuckin’ 3 other girls…
M: I told you we should have made a try for the Pink.
F: I was too drunk.
M: We had a dance style thing, a sway thing, I did a
somersault! *High five*
F: Yo! M killed it yo! I was doing a little pop-lar thing
& out of nowhere, I’m just fuckin’ around with M, right? I act like I throw
‘im (in a) circle (he) does a somersault! I’m like, ‘oh shit!’ I didn’t expect
you to do that shit, funny as hell, I was joking around, next thing I know M’s
doing a somersault!
M: I’m happy with the numbers I got, she’s a screenwriter,
man…
F: I’m happy with my numbers too, good numbers.
D: Powerball numbers.
M: …Powerball numbers…The thing is that we only have so much
time to release, we have to schedule ‘em out to meet ‘em up. I mean like yeah I
gotta brew tomorrow too…
F: Tryin’ to go to church and shit…
M: I’m trying to go to church at 11:30 still.
F: Scarin’ girls away
like you’re fuckin’ hookin’ up with a girl and you’re like, ‘you’re gonna come
to church with me tomorrow?’ oh hell no I ain’t goin’ home with you! (she sez).
M: Gotta give ‘em the car test! (“A Bronx Tale” reference)...
I’m gonna lick your pussy but you’re
gonna come to church tomorrow.
F: Pizza Works? That we went to? There were some hot girls,
I mean there were like a couple I was like, ‘yo’ I had to let her…she is beautiful.
M: In the church, there are women like, ‘yeah.’
D: In the act, I think the reason that you’re going, I don’t
think (that) it’s religion.
M: No! I like religion! I love Jesus! I explore myself a little bit, I love myself…God’s
kingdom is everybody and everybody can get to Heaven if they want to go, they
just gotta want to go to Heaven!
F: Yeah, but still, I mean, even at a personal level, I
still felt uncomfortable like I can’t be there and be myself because this guy’s talking about this and this guy…and it’s
all church and like pushy-pushy because I was good for the beginning, but once
they like noticed us, they don’t fuck with M, but because like me, it would be
like with you, because you’re new they wanna fuckin’…*snaps fingers* they’re
tryin’ to like, ‘oh we’ve got a sales pitch from Jesus Christ,’ you know what I’m
sayin’?? You know I’m Catholic, I believe in God, I believe in Jesus, they make
me nervous, just that push on you, you know what I mean?? It’s that difference between Christianity…
M: I like it, that’s my new study, that’s my new thesis, The Push, The Crazy Creepy Push.
F: You might like it, I don’t like it at all it makes me
uncomfortable.
M: You could deliver better… they could deliver it better.
F: Exactly, they can, they can, for sure.
D: Well, it’s in a way more genuine because it’s not like
subtle advertising like you get nowadays with product placement on screen where
you don’t even notice that you’re being advertised at.
M: They do like product placement, you gotta get One-A-Day®
… You’re gonna make it to church today? But I’m gonna die tomorrow if I don’t
like eat food.
F: They keep asking M if he’s going to come to church
tomorrow, I kept laughin’ I’m like…
M: I can be like, ‘I’m bleeding out of my eyes and I’m going
to need surgery, but I’ll come to church after I’m done with that bullshit,’
Matthew 3 oh ohhhh Matthew 6:33 “Seek first his kingdom…” But I always tell
them I’m going to say that there’s a human element, that circumstances are
human, I’m going to try taking care of it in human fashion and say ‘unexplainable
is your God.’ That’s where I kind of stand with it. I ain’t gonna pray for good
loving. I ain’t gonna pray for not getting
a flat tire, I’m just going to get new tires
when you get a flat tire.
D: Yeah, but you
grasp on to verses the way that they do, in that sense, ‘I’m just going to
pick-and-choose the verse that helps my case and like not listen to the rest of
it because I’ve already got mine.’
M: I’m like a sponge, I’m absorbing it all…they tell me you
should read a Bible verse every day, alright I’ll do that, I’ve got the Bible
app (on my phone), I try and do that, I got my math problems, I do push-ups
every day, I come back to them and I start quoting them their own shit back to
them like…
F: Oh you know John Paul verse 8-2-3?
M: Proverbs 20:13? No, there’s a couple out there I’ve got
down where I’m like I pulled on the one dude Abe, like, he’s kinda like… I
don’t know, they all come at you with their stuff, they stopped bugging me when…
I remember what they say I don’t know
if that’s what they really want though,
you know once they kinda got you, they’re kinda like…
F: Gotcha!
M: I was kind of
amused with the attention I was getting from it too like…
F: I’m not… that makes me so uncomfortable.
M: And they’re not trying to convert me anymore, ‘he’s
converted!’ (they’d say)
F: They got the hint that you’re not interested!
M: No No they challenge me, they say, ‘we don’t think you’re
interested,’ but I’m interested! I’m here every fuckin’ Sunday!
F: Oh yeah like I told them when I first started, ‘I’m here
to try to learn a little more, I’m born Catholic, I’m like, ‘I’m here, my
friend’s interested, I’m interested,’ you know? ‘But don’t start spittin’ Bible
verses at me, don’t talk Bible study, you know what I mean?’ or pitch that,
but pitch it in a way that’s going to relate to me. You know, like, imagine
somebody that’s atheist or something and how would you pitch them to come to
something that you want them to hear, which is Bible study, don’t be like, ‘oh
you know, “come to Bible study Matthew
18:23”’…you’re not (going to be) interested.
D: Somebody who has their agenda that they’re trying to get
to you, their boilerplate issues…
F: Because I’m interested in like learning, but dude, I
could fuckin’ look up the History Channel™ and learn what I want to learn from
my religion, you know what I’m sayin’? Without that, you know, propaganda,
because they’ve got their own feelings, their own views…
D: What do you mean History Channel™?
F: Oh History Channel™ be gettin’ it in, dude.
D: Yeah, but you don’t think that they have their own
propaganda and goals too?
F: Exactly! But they at least go back into the history of
it. Which is pretty much what that pastor
does, you know? He relates to it you know, uh…
M: I look at it like this, he’s up in front of the church,
they’re up in front of the church talking about God, who’s (whose?) God? Who do
you see talking about God while you’re trying them up in front of the church? How
does that effect the parish? With anyone, public speaking, I think in general
there’s a power developed upon delivery, even like, talking about music, that’s
why I love it too, the delivery of how you deliver lyrics and say things to
people really like…
F: I mean, it’s like how you relate anything to anybody…
M: But to be like talking about like abstract things even too in makin’ people believe in ya,
faith is like something people I think should…
F: Yeah. When it
comes to religion dude you can’t… I don’t care how much knowledge you know, you
cannot convince, persuade anybody to believe in something that they don’t believe in, you know what I mean? You can
tie them, you can inform them, you know what I mean? But…
D: A lot of people don’t have a strong set of beliefs then
you can sway them to believe what you believe, but, you know, there’s also
(something) based on charisma, and is charisma something that can be learned or
earned through your faith?
M: Yeah, that’s part of it, yeah, charisma…
D: Yeah, discipline-based, well, I mean, in a way it is
kinda discipline-based …
F: It is, it is discipline, you know what I mean? Because
you abide to an order.
Commercial: ...Extra frustrating
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D: Pimples in hard to reach
places…
F: Fuckin’ pimples.
M: That’s what’s on my mind, like,
your mind’s on pimples in hard to reach places and you’re like lettin’ somebody
lead them.
F: Must be nice to *mumble*
pimple…
M: No, I don’t question
leadership, I more look at
leadership, I analyze it and say like, ‘okay, where’s it leading um?’ I haven’t
fully finished my study yet on that, the Buffalo Church of Christ…
D: In Heaven, pro’bly, right?
Ideally…
M: Ideally…through Heaven. Up in Heaven.
D: Yeah…I guess so!
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M: Oh she’s got that spot…She
just needs a man, she doesn’t need a
fuckin’ sponge massager!
Commercial: ...value, order
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F: *mumbles*
M: Yeah, you forgot about that…*aside to F*
F: I did!
M: I looked over there too and I felt like an
asshole because the two new ones that just came on the dancefloor, we kind of
went for them first.
F: Nononono
M: You kinda bounced around, but…
(F&M bicker)… you should have come out D, (there would have been) more
people, more manpower.
D: I’m happy.
M: They gathered, they came, and
then we couldn’t keep it all…
F: They conquered! They gathered, they came, but we did not
conquer. M started doing his freaky,
weird, little leg thing
M: Oh yeah, yeah, they like that,
they like that, that’s actually what got the…
F: I was freakin’ the shit out of
them though, I had a good time, I had a good time...
Commercial: I won this 55 inch TV for less than $30 on deal-dash-dot-com!
M: DJ sucked…
Commercial: These aren’t actors,
they are real people who got huge
savings on deal-dash-dot-com!
F: I don’t know, I thought he did
a pretty decent job for the most part.
Commercial: At dealdashdotcom you
can save up to 99%, but hurry, everything must go…
F: *puts nostril to line of
cocaine on coffee table and sniffs (without utensil)*
M: You wanna paint something?
F: Paint?
M: You need a brush.
F: What do you want to paint?
Where’s that easel?
M: There’s no easel, where’s the
canvas?
Commercial: Are you having fun?
M: I’m going to church tomorrow…
F: You can do cocaine before you
go to church. You’re not saved if you’re
not doin’ coke before you go to church!
Are you not goin’ (now)?
M: I’m goin’ to church!
F: I ain’t goin’!
M: You can go with me if you
want?
F: I’ll go, I guess, I would
definitely go actually, there are some fuckin’ pretty ass girls there, I’d be
like ‘ohhh! Baby!’ (singing)
M: I’ll swear to Jesus for them!
F: M’s a fool yo! We had fun
tonight though.
M: It was fun!
F: Saw some Stripteasers, there
were them, & little fruit-cup boy did his little thing.
D: Oh yeah, Max Darling?
F: If that’s what they call him!
He did alright though, you know what
I mean? Cause, fuckin’, because I had a lot of like my co-workers now, they’re
all, (I’m like), ‘fuck’ ‘cause I had like 2
of them show up, but they were alright with it you know what I’m sayin’? Like I
let them know beforehand (the nature of this thing) bla-bla-blah. I didn’t let
them know about the guy thing, but,
the show that they put on was good,
you know they had 2 girls before, and then he came on, it was quick *claps
hands to indicate brevity*
M: And they let on Jamie Doctor
and Delilah Dynamite, and then they did Fanny LeFaux, and then they did Max
Power, so like...
F: Oh that’s the thing, Max
Power?
M: I love Delilah, and I love
Jamie Doctor…
F: Shit, I’m tryin’ to go to
DBGB’s like every Saturday to be honest…if there’s girls like that there? On the weekend? For sure.
M: Well, they’re out there.
F: I was playin’ it conservative
because your sister was there with her friends, but even with them there dude I
was still like, bouncin’ around like, so we need to go there, just like ‘us guys.’
M: Every Saturday?
F: Not every Saturday, but…
M: I’m better, I’m better, I’m
better off…well?
F: Yo M, them 3 girls though? Terrifying.
M: You see J?
F: Who?
M: Little Puerto Rican girl we
were walking by who was drunk at Hardware? Those two friends? …I’m gonna be out
on Friday nights I think.
F: Well we got to teach you how
to really Salsa dance. And then you can
dance with the Puerto Ricans and the White girls and you’ll really show ‘em how
it’s done, you know what I’m sayin’?
It’s easy dude. It’s all about the spin. It’s all about the 1-2-3-4’s and how you push
out, pull in and spin!
M: I’ll admit the only thing I
have to do is, if you do the spin, like bringing it back in the same rhythm
that you spin ‘em out to. You can’t spin
them too fast!
F: But think about it as music
and music reps. When you’re dancing to a Salsa song, think about it that you’re
playing your guitar to it, or the bassline to it.
M: Right, well I just spin ‘em
fast because I try to get ‘em over and back, because that’s what I’m thinking
about, I’m just saying, that’s my learning curve.
F: With Salsa is different from
hip-hop, once you lose that rhythm, it’s harder than hip-hop to get back into
it, with hip-hop you’re like ‘duh, I fucked up,’ oh! now you’re back with it.
D: It’s super repetitive.
F: Yeah, and with Salsa, you have
to get into that 1-2-3-4, 1-2-3-4. You know, and you fuck up, you gotta wait
for that next rep! It’s a little more complex!
M: Know. It’s hard. Yeah. He’s
right! Because I did that last…was it last night?
F: Because once you get it, it’s
easy dude, because all it is is reps of 4.
M: There’s points… there’s only 2
or 3 times where I stop and just like let… she kept going and I kind of cowed in
where she was and moved into it.
F: That’s why you lead!
M: You’re supposed to lead!
F: Exactly, That’s why you lead! And you fuckin’ throw them where
you want to. It’s like when I dance Salsa with girls, I’m fuckin’ throwin’ bitches,
spinnin’ ‘em around, you control the count, you can make it 4 count, you can
make it a 6 or 8 as long as you’re in rhythm, you know what I’m sayin’? But…
M: It’s like the spin, it’s like
the recovery after the spin.
F: Yeah, you control them, you
know what I mean? Well in hip-hop sometimes,
it gets awkward if you fuck up, you
know? You’re like, ‘oh okay’ you know what I mean?
TV: It’s a simple piece of
equipment, ‘This is the bit that goes in the mouth, this is the steering
mechanism, lets you go right, left, this is the area right here that broke,’
and when the bit broke, Joey had no way
to steer the horse. ‘I just never
expected something like that to happen, you don’t expect steel to break,
fortunately, Catman and I just got away with scrapes and bruises.’ Today many
manufacturers add safety nylon straps to bits, hopefully preventing what
happened here from ever happening
again… Trails, heartaches, and burdens, lights out.
--
“Love not sleep, lest
thou come to poverty; open thine eyes, and
thou shalt be satisfied with bread.” Proverbs 20:13
“But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his
righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you.” Matthew 6:33
“Therefore is the kingdom of heaven likened unto a certain
king, which would take account of his servants.” Matthew 18:23
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