3/13
Just so you know, the whole thing is fucked up from the
outset, so how is this a good use of your time?
Rejection of genera is normal
in healthily working biological systems when competitors encroach (although
encroachment itself might be a natural result of its healthy functioning). I love your rejection of me, dude with longer
hair and worse eyesight at the bar on St. Patrick’s Day, Bergamasco
dawg. The fact that you don’t want to be around me
is comforting. Although the fact that
you’re still talking about me is disconcerting, despite claiming to lack
interest. Why doesn’t the day of the
week matter to you? Are you nihilistic,
out of work, or both? Are those my only
options, Monday, Tuesday, holiday, etc.?
I was lead to believe these were just points of reference that we share
in common, or perhaps you don’t believe in the use of language itself? I always forget I might just smell bad to
those with acuter olfactory senses. I’ve
often been told that deficiency in one sense strengthens another. Although I don’t know how smelling things
better is advantageous. Berg-boy
replaced Brian who ran out of GHB a decade ago as one sitting on my sinister side. Brian, he’d take a 20-drink equivalent punch
in a bottle cap at Club Marcella’s, have his guts pumped at the hospital, and
make it back before closing time a hero!
But now he’s got the 8-year itch from too many benzos and the
nervousness of one unable to reflect upon sound advice or sit in soundness in
general. You just can’t get through to a
guy who is hearing startling noises almost constantly! How is one word supposed to make more sense
than any other? Well, you get down to a
point of contention with nearly anyone and they’re bound to react poorly. Often when you’re not trying to be
contentious! I just am!
3/8
“Living with abandon” means to cut loose, to see what
happens next, to refuse to plan. Often
seen with ‘living life to its fullest potential,’ it is rarely seen anymore what with panic attacks
caused by putting my cellphone in a different pocket than usual and for a
moment believing I’d lost it
entirely! How is one to live life to its
fullest potential without the ability to detach from a perceived lifeline that
didn’t exist a generation prior? Why is
it so difficult to relate? Relatability? It’s probably because no one knows what’s
going on anymore! In niche information
warfare, the only way to retaliate is by going silent. One may banish, but one cannot kill what is
already dead; a ghost. Bound to an
exterior dimension, how can one contact a deceased individual but through
necromancy? Do ghosts exist? To a Christian, or to Saul, the Holy Ghost
may manifest if conditions are ripe, but who among us has circumcised ears to
hear truth? One with self-professed
‘abandonment issues’ such as the fear thereof expresses how it feels to be left
alone while staving off. Some are so insatiable they stave off quite
constantly. Meanwhile, those without issuing
such a self-profession do their own thing without bones. Like the Blob? Spooky! This one guy, Bob, (in defense of his Blue
Lives Matter flag) loves police, but hates how law is enforced. Should one be allowed to take a knee while
the anthem is being played and still be considered patriotic? Having been banished, sent into exile, or in
her own eyes, abandoned, this one girl, Napo-LeAnne, why does she
threaten to be my snitch? (She wants to
snatch my purse!)
He who
knows how to live can walk abroad
Without fear of rhinoceros
or tiger.
He will not be wounded in
battle.
For in him rhinoceroses
can find no place to
thrust their horn,
Tigers can find no place
to use their claws,
And weapons no place to
pierce.
Why is this so? Because he has no place for
death to enter.
From: Tao
Te Ching, Lao Tzu, Ch. 50. Gia-fu Feng & Jane English translation.
Imprison those who wish to imprison others! Let the star manifest courage! Let the pop diva sing her guts out! Let there be only one fear and that is fear
of the Lord viz. fear itself. Let me
live righteously and let my ghost speak to others good words. If only I could heal myself I might become
corporeal! City of good neighbors: city
of good hosts: good fences establish and represent healthy boundaries. Much disease is sex-related. Is there any such thing as infinite
compatibility? Jesus gets along with
anyone who’s anyone who supported his followers along the way to some afterlife
with mansions!
3/9
“Imagination…the ambiguous locus in which the shattered but
insistent continuity of nature was united with the empty but attentive
continuity of consciousness.” Foucault, M. The Order of Things. P.160
3/11
Fat garage-dwelling cardinal attacked by skinny, fit
cardinal! Birds of a feather are
tweeting ‘kill! kill!’ Partaking too much
of mana from god? Where does my ego end
and the word of God begin? Walking to
the old Hess®
station for rolling papers, basically rolling out of bed, feeling
self-conscious, ‘should I get a haircut?’ ‘no, I didn’t brush my teeth.’
‘should I turn around?’ ‘no, that would be cowardly.’ Does anyone really care
beside me? Doesn’t this thought-process
come down to beauty and judgment of sexual selection? Respectability is also a tweaked
socio-psychological standard that is malleable/not absolute. There are various busy communities
interacting within society at large,
so to base makeup on numbers is to over-generalize: It is to base an assessment
of an entire system as if upon its
most dominant feature. Is this a
distinction, a distraction, a detraction, or all three? Because there are various busy
(multicultural) communities interacting within society (US Americans) the
tendency to define the totality of this exchange-process by finite terms tends
to be taxing, and misleading, or if it is
somehow accurate, no less mind-boggling.
Even terms numerically-based at best provide a series of metaphorical
snap-shots that fluctuate as a rolling tide provides an Alabama head-coach a
tidy base-salary. Is he so single-minded
as to be predictable? Truth is, those
who conform themselves to predictable models, while comfortable in their
form-fit (ergonomic) efficiency, fail once they are figured out by opposing
forces. A cast both heals and
slows. The cast of “Rent,” Emily? What are they saying? As a foot in a cast resets and fixes a bone
that is broken, so too does it inhibit, weaken, or even deaden if
over-utilized. A swollen metric, a
system of growth out-of-proportion with an intended totality/wholeness needs be
excised or otherwise removed before its dominant feature compromises it or
makes the whole thing sickly. This
condition or process should become readily apparent as it worsens. This tendency toward terminology represents
the big, fat ego-death we’ve all been fearing!
(Or perhaps a pilgrimage to Mt. Kailash if you’re a more enlightened
being like Sadhguru
(JRE 3/14/22)). Once one defines what is wrong and needs to be fixed, one is
confronted with the task of having something better to do than fritter,
(although fritters tend to be delicious).
What are our top physicians obscuring from the public domain? What are doctors hiding from their patients
or have circumstances somehow gone beyond epidemiological control? The soil of the Earth is akin to the skin’s
epidermis, (burning like Brian’s, (suffering some of the sins of mankind.)) Sadhguru is out there with heavy Ghandi
dharma, carrying on a righteous fight for sovereign minerals.
Ah me, here is nostalgia for that fragmentary part of
myself; broken away from, never to be replayed.
Multimediae provide the illusion of replicability in everyday life, but
even our illusions get worn-out like tatters.
What is the nature of one’s servitude?
What is the nature of one’s chains of bondage that are so exhausting
that one, striving to break free, fails to often? Tony Robbins’ charisma, Batman! Just look at his teeth, what a philanthropic gift-horse! Lilies of the field in all their empty bravado
become florid. Back to Bergamasco’s
beliefs - something that doesn’t make sense (to me) as an interiorly held
belief such as an anti-work credo (where the tilt of the earth nor the angle of
the Sun have no bearing upon months, despite the obviousness that it plays
certain roles in energetic protocols) to represent a detachment from one’s
natural self. Why does savior faire rub anti-social people the
wrong way? It is unfortunate to become
troglodytic – wherein life reverts to a primordial state of being wherein the
natural stressors of life detract from consciousness-potential, especially if
that form of cave-dwelling is detached from earthen substance. (Source of battiness?) I have also considered
the fact that perhaps people perceive mistakenly that I have an alcohol
addiction, when it’s just a vehicle for my own suffering and overcoming
suffering for others. It’s so hard for
Brian to sit still for more than two seconds!
(He loves seeing me take down car-bombs like a champ). “He’s got that fighting liver!” knowing
nothing about milk thistle, liver betraying him with painful, burning itchiness
when he’s off the bend. Perhaps he’d
like to see me share in suffering a similar fate.
The problem with journalism is that it’s of the day and not of the moment. I’d need to separate myself from my belief in
le jour to attain a more granular
form of consciousness. Less
leisure? ‘Please! Treats!’
‘no more until you’re room is clean’ ‘but what does clean even mean?’ My
organizational structure needs work to function optimally. Feng Shui protocols vs. protracted
procrastination, there is indecision about which problem to tackle first, and
hypothetically next. If I suppose my intellect
to be sharp enough to solve epistemological relationships, then perhaps this
functioning could be applied to make differences elsewhere as well. Well, I need to smoke now to be fully-functional again by noon, (in order to summon hum…what now?) The strength of will to go against the day!
“There are no problems, people are going to be angry at you
for no reason or any reason at all whether you like it or not! In all seriousness, my seriousness is just an
act that angry audiences depreciate, my tragedy for the sake of Sult. Horrific (Kafkaesque) hunger that I just
smile and laugh about because I’m lucky in that American ideal way, that is
skinny, troubled skinny with drug problems (cravings) and other insatiable
recurrent thoughts that apparently demand answers,” Mike Belmont scribbled in a journal
on a Jinja safari
next to seasick Steve (who hated to be landlocked.) “There are no easy answers other than to be
close to the land that you’re originally from and love it as one who loves
anything in this world ( - with devotion).”
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