When a person wants a lover to regard genuine love, it helps
to be friends with that significant other first, or at least be a friend of a
friend. My confidence is part of my
personality, and since the root meaning of confidence is ‘with faith,’ what is
my faith?
This outward appearance looks of having a religion, but
smells different. Most religions smell
of musty old incense while my religion smells of fresh kumquat. I am a pastor in the church of Dog where my congregation
finally has a place to sit and stay.
Lie down.
I have a confession to make, I’m terrible at being
honest. I am one emotional meltdown away
from Takotsubo
cardiomyopathy. I always play black
in chess while I desire white. I can
never have
sex when I’m tripping. It
breathes! I’m lonely and horny and I have
someone in mind. If truth were a
quantifiable as well as an observable quality, I would desire to capitalize on
this social exchange.
I don’t dive, I belly flop. I am the friend zone! Infatuation is not rewarded. Time travels. I have survived with all of my
money, white dresses, and feline frenzy.
The notion of long-suffering
is an idea worth complaining about. The
situation I am trying to describe involves infiltrating social circles and how
easy it is for me to creep from one to another and somehow remain fascinated, a
fixation in each and every one, it’s like feeling like being pulled in many
directions all at once. I understand how
this can seem degrading.
I’m a flirt, I live dangerously, and I get away with
it. It’s easy to enter into
relationships with preconceived notions.
Am I simply trading pleasure for pain with demons? Affirmative.
I’ve gone fishing with my BFFs, Diane Coffee, jail birds,
and women I have trouble even describing.
Couples are getting married like crazy at this age!
Just the other day I was hanging with Heynong Man Talkin’ Tang
and about the fact that he wants to replace me as comedy host. He spoke and it sparked my desire. He asked, “Why aren’t you using punctuation?” The love of my life would be shocked. It’s still funny to deny everything.
Is it disturbing that everyone I kiss has a hairy face? If Buddha taught me anything it’s that desire
is the root of all suffering. I put you
on a pedestal (or is it a cross?). My
memory turns me on.
Nasty! I refuse to
negotiate or compromise, yet the world around us for some reason requires some
kind of metaphysical navigation between extremes of virtue and vice. Are there really no rules?! If there really are no rules, how am I
supposed to control anything!?
Emotions are confusing.
Friends
reflect who you are. Some people
(Dave) sound superfluous.
She
blew my butt like Trombone Shorty on parade.
Butt cum. “Butt chew,”…”Bless
you!” “Gesundheit!” My nose settled down
for a while. But then I sneezed again and
this time I farted. I had to bury her
back at the old parade grounds like an informant.
“We bullshitted for a while.
He did all the things a nice guy would do. I didn’t appreciate it.”
I have attachment issues.
I need someone to go over the top for me, but I still probably wouldn’t
appreciate it. I don’t want to
settle. I want to keep dreaming. I’m tripping and it takes however many more
hours for the effects to wear off.
I make poor choices sometimes. I don’t think therefore I am not (a bride/a
groom).
Mona Lisa’s frown. Oh
well, I’m hungry again, won’t you cook for me?
“But when you do a charitable deed, do not let your left
hand know what your right hand is doing,” Matthew 6:3 I just long for the link!
Here’s the hypocrisy.
I hope that what goes around doesn’t come around. As long as I can still make enemies out of
would-be friends I’ll be okay. I should
probably just assume that person is my enemy ahead of time. Karma’s a bitch.
Even if there are no rules, decisions have to be made. Life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness
in terra incognita,
my country ‘tis of thee, and in God we trust?
Perhaps, perhaps… I’m only human!
It is vitally important for people
to learn from their mistakes and take charge of their own destiny. The fate of the world depends on it!
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